The next time you attend a meeting, look at the people in the room. Who looks happy to be here? Who appears annoyed about something? Who seems tired, bored or distracted? Who pretends to be here, yet their mind is clearly elsewhere?
What do you see and what might you interpret from their body language?
What is your body language conveying to them about your comfort and commitment to this meeting?
Like all forms of communication, body language is an imperfect channel. Yet we rely on it because it’s our first observation. It’s also the first form of communication that allowed us to survive as a species. We depended on body language long before we developed spoken language.
Today our words are important, yet body language is often stronger than the words when it comes to emotion: especially believability, trust, fear, threat, lust…
We observe your body language to interpret your emotions and intention.
The words you speak are filtered through the lens of our perception of your body language. Just as we might misunderstand your words, we can also misread your body language. It doesn’t matter because we will default to believe our perception over your intention, even if you clarify the misunderstanding later.
My friend Peter was speaking at a local chamber event. There were many empty chairs in the room, yet he delivered his presentation with his usual energy. It’s much more draining when speaking to a half empty room yet a pro always delivers their best.
I noticed that he stood at the front of the stage with the front of his shoes hanging off the stage. After the presentation I asked him about this unusual stance. He thought about my observation, then admitted that he was disappointed with the poor attendance because the chamber had promised to strongly promote this event. While one part of his brain was determined to deliver his best, another part was pleading, “just get me out of here”.
His feet conveyed his inner feelings about wanting to leave the room.
Generally, our extremities (hands and feet) convey our true feelings. When you want a better understanding of the person you’re talking with – notice where their feet are pointing. That’s where they want to go.
Pickpockets can easily identify the tourists in New York city by the way they look and walk. The tourists sport a goofy smile, walk slowly and haphazardly while gazing up at the towers. They look lost. They don’t need to carry a sign with that message because they are broadcasting with their body language.
On my way to an early morning meeting business just outside of downtown Toronto, I walked from the train station through a neighbourhood that seemed to harbour some unfriendly types.
I was dressed in my business suit, probably not the best look for this area at this time. I run three days a week and walk three days, so I’m used to moving with purpose. My body language was, “I’m on a mission. Don’t mess with me”.
I walked quickly and purposeful. Head up and eyes up, swinging my arms to use space and signal determination and confidence.
A couple of undesirables were on the sidewalk; they took one look at me and moved away.
Whether you are walking through a questionable neighbourhood or speaking at the front of the room, own your space. You convey that by how you stand and move, not threatening, simply owning your space and projecting confidence.
Your body stance and movement tends to convey how you feel, and we notice that first before we listen to your words.
When you speak, stand and move with purpose and project confidence. That will attract the attention of your audience.
Effective communication starts by understanding the principles, then developing your skills with practice and coaching.
